Success Through Attitude & Environment

William Clement Stone (May 4, 1902 – September 3, 2002), business man, philanthropist, Nobel Peace Prize nominee and co-author of “Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude” is the guy who said:

“You are a product of your environment. So choose the environment that will best develop you toward your objective. Analyze your life in terms of its environment. Are the things around you helping you toward success - or are they holding you back?”

I'm a huge advocate of this and have been since my teens when my father (Carmen Trimarco, 1920-1990) retired after a heart attack. My father lived by a philosophy of "don't be a cry baby" and "work hard to get where you want to get." Being a daddy's girl, I lived to please my dad because I admired him so much. I'm so much like him and proud of that (with the exception of the cry baby thing - I still do that occasionally). My father was much older, as I've mentioned in other blogs, and this affected us financially when he got sick. At 14 I went out and got a job because I felt guilty asking my parents for money they didn't have to pay for things I wanted. At that point we only my father's social security, pension and my mom's tip money from waiting tables to live on ... plus anything that might have "fallen off a truck". More about that later.


My father, Carmen Trimarco (1920-1990)


I was no stranger to working at 14. That wasn't my first job. My first job was working in a flea market at 11 or 12 (or younger?). My father was what I call a "hustler" - he hustled to put food on the table. He drove a truck from 9-5 Monday through Friday and on the weekends he had a booth at a flea market where he sold all kinds of things, from used appliances to things that might have "fallen off a truck." PLUS, he had become a locksmith by mail!!! So, he also made keys at the flea market and ultimately taught my brother and me how to use a key machine. Imagine seeing a 10 and 12 year old making keys for adults who were in disbelief that we were capable of this! We also became very versed at negotiation through this experienced. In a flea market setting, there are no set prices. People are there to bargain for the best price. My best training was watching my father haggle with a guy who wanted to buy a toaster for $3, but it was $5. He walked away angry when he didn't get the toaster for $3. The man came back 10 minutes later to buy it for $5. And father said: "It's now $10". The man was so angry and stomped off. My father laughed. He enjoyed the art of negotiation. It was a game to him. This was the quickest lesson ever in "supply and demand" economics!

My father was street smart, not book smart. He didn't finish 8th grade. Not because he was stupid. From what I understand my dad and his siblings had to also work at young ages because their parents died young during the Depression. There were 8 kids, including a toddler left behind to survive as a family. Being Italian and living in Chicago during the Depression it was pretty normal to do "odd jobs" for the mob. My grandfather was a bootlegger during prohibition before he died. Italian immigrants in Chicago were not first in line for legitimate jobs since the Irish got there first. Growing up, my dad and his siblings had some colorful situations as a result of growing up in this environment. I've heard many stories and I've heard there are many other stories that my father didn't want me to hear. My parents were pretty protective about what really happened "back in the day", but I can make some assumptions.

As a result of my father's "colorful" life there were things that happened in my childhood that affected my behavior as an adult, and no, I don't have things falling off trucks going on, in case that's what you're thinking! However, I do miss the designer clothes I had as a teen that never came from a store! Back to being "product of environment". Growing up we were not allowed to answer the door if someone rang the doorbell UNLESS we were expecting someone to come over. Today I'm guessing that's pretty normal with so much more crime, but still til this day I will not answer the door if I'm not expecting someone. It was ingrained in me. As was not accepting certified mail. And as child my father did not approve of my friends sleeping over. As a kid you just don't question those things. You just do as you're told. But then you continue that behavior as an adult without thinking twice while others look at you like you're crazy. Why did we do these things? Later in my teens I found out that we couldn't answer the door because it could be the "feds" or someone to serve my father a subpoena, we couldn't sign for certified mail in case of legal documents being served, we couldn't have sleep-overs because someone might be "casing us." So imagine this, my college degree came by certified mail, but I didn't know it since I wouldn't sign for it! For many years I was paranoid if my roommates had strangers come over because they might be "casing" me and I'm still paranoid about answering the door! How funny is this? It's just a natural reaction based on how I was raised. I'm certainly not in trouble with the "feds" (not that I know of)!

That stuff sounds silly, but again, I'm product of my environment, which also includes my father's ability to entertain people with his storytelling and his dry sense of humor, his huge heart to help others in bigger need than himself when he didn't have enough money help himself, his work ethic and passion for staying busy, his loyalty to people who were loyal to him, his stubborness, his creativity to have big ideas, his constant "scheming" on how to make money, and his never-ending supportive and encouraging spirit. When I told him that I wanted to go to college, he questioned it and said "Why go to college when you'll end up getting married and having kids?" And my response: "What if my husband loses his job and we can't feed the kids?" And his response: "Good point, but you'll have to find a way to pay for it yourself" and I did because that's what he trained me to do, without knowing it.

I would never trade my life experiences with something different. The environment I grew up in prepared me for the success I have today and for how to deal with life when there's no success. My environment taught me how to switch environments when needed. We have the power to change our environments and situations to whatever we see fit for our personal and professional success. There's no room for "cry babies" and that's a topic for another blog (how my father taught me how NOT to cry).

Are the things around you helping you toward success - or are they holding you back?