The Platinum Rule To Living

This turtle at the Riverbanks Zoo in Columbia, SC was relentless at poking at this crocodile, but the croc didn't seem to mind and clearly the turtle had established a good enough relationship that he could get away with being annoying.

Recently after an improv show, during a show debrief session, a player said, "Don't we all want to be a player that others want to play with?" For those in improv, you instantly understand what this means. But this question is a universal truth. Doesn't this translate to "Don't we all want people to like us, be with us, work with us, love us, marry us, tolerate us, learn from us, admire us?" No one wants to be "that guy" (or girl) - the office jerk who stabs you in the back, the spouse that cheats on you, the best friend who betrays you. I believe that the majority of us want to be someone who makes a contribution to the world and other people's lives, but sometimes we get lost in our own ego-centric needs and really those ego-centric needs lead back to the universal truths above. Unfortunately we don't always treat people the way they want or need to be treated and thus they no longer want to "play" with us. No one wants to be "on stage" with the guy or girl who cares too much about how they look and feel. We all want to be on stage with the person who makes us not just feel safe, but awesome about ourselves. We want to work and be with people who will support our ideas and feelings, saying "yes and" to us the whole way through.

How can we be better "players" in life, work, improv? Try the "Platinum Rule", something heavily emphasized in customer service training by my friend Eileen of The Meeting Institute. If you don't know what the Platinum Rule is, think of the Golden Rule with a twist.

• The Golden Rule: Treat others the way YOU want to be treated.
• The Platinum Rule: Treat others the way THEY want to be treated.

Now you ask, "How do I know how they want to be treated? I'm not a mind reader." Ah, we're better mind readers than we realize. To do this we have to actively listen to what people say and be hyperaware of their non-verbal communication (subtext, body language, emotions). And sometimes it couldn't hurt to just ask them what they need.

Re-train your brain and you too can be a better "player"!

Customer Service is King ... or Queen

Last night we (Eileen Soisson of The Meeting Institute and I) held our first "Martini Meeting LIVE" event at TGIFridays. For those not familiar with the "Martini Meeting", we use to produce and host an internet radio show by the same name. The premise of this show was based on our real lives as women in business who get together to talk about every day small business challenges and successes while drinking martinis and yes, we drank on the show.  It was a blast. Due to our busy schedules we had to stop the shows, but we still have followers who wanted to get together in person to continue the concept, thus Martini Meeting LIVE.

Since we originally started these meetings at TGIFridays, we found it fitting to bring our new meetings back to where it all started. As per tradition, I started with my usual "Pink Punk" martini which is some sweet martini poured over cotton candy. So decadent!!! After one I switch to my usual chardonnay. I'm not going to say how many glasses of chardonnay I had, but let's just say that on my second glass the server brought me what looked like a wine sampling. There was barely any wine in this glass and before I could utter a word the server said, "I'm so sorry. We lost our wine opener and I poured you what we have until we find the opener." My first thought was "You have only one opener???" but I got distracted in conversation and didn't think too much about it. And then I noticed the server behind the bar, removing her coat, followed by pouring a glass of wine. She brought me that glass of wine and I said: "Did you go out to buy an opener?" And she said, "Yes, sorry again for the wait." That's what I call customer service! No excuses. No hassle. Just pure empowerment by management and good service. This might not seem like a big deal to most but as customer service trainers for Carolina Improv Company and TMI, Eileen and I look for these things to happen because we use them as examples in training presentations.

This situation is very different from my recent experience at Costco when I tried to buy a nutrition book. When the cashier tried to ring up my purchase she couldn't get the book to scan. The message on her register was "Not For Sale". So she had to call over a supervisor. The supervisor then informed me that they could not sell the book until the following Tuesday (four days later) and that I would have to return then. I was in such disbelief. I literally said to him: "So, I can't give you money today for this item?" and he said "No." Not even a sorry. No solution. No alternative (like an older publication). Nothing. I wasn't going to die without this book, but boy how many times has Costco lost money for an error like this? Clearly I didn't return to buy the book and not out of retailiation, but because my purchase was an impulse purchase, something that retailers thrive on for profitability. My impulse disappeared when I walked out. It would have probably been a different story if the product was chardonnay!!!

Thank you to our server Senaida and TGIFridays for awesome service!