The Platinum Rule To Living

This turtle at the Riverbanks Zoo in Columbia, SC was relentless at poking at this crocodile, but the croc didn't seem to mind and clearly the turtle had established a good enough relationship that he could get away with being annoying.

Recently after an improv show, during a show debrief session, a player said, "Don't we all want to be a player that others want to play with?" For those in improv, you instantly understand what this means. But this question is a universal truth. Doesn't this translate to "Don't we all want people to like us, be with us, work with us, love us, marry us, tolerate us, learn from us, admire us?" No one wants to be "that guy" (or girl) - the office jerk who stabs you in the back, the spouse that cheats on you, the best friend who betrays you. I believe that the majority of us want to be someone who makes a contribution to the world and other people's lives, but sometimes we get lost in our own ego-centric needs and really those ego-centric needs lead back to the universal truths above. Unfortunately we don't always treat people the way they want or need to be treated and thus they no longer want to "play" with us. No one wants to be "on stage" with the guy or girl who cares too much about how they look and feel. We all want to be on stage with the person who makes us not just feel safe, but awesome about ourselves. We want to work and be with people who will support our ideas and feelings, saying "yes and" to us the whole way through.

How can we be better "players" in life, work, improv? Try the "Platinum Rule", something heavily emphasized in customer service training by my friend Eileen of The Meeting Institute. If you don't know what the Platinum Rule is, think of the Golden Rule with a twist.

• The Golden Rule: Treat others the way YOU want to be treated.
• The Platinum Rule: Treat others the way THEY want to be treated.

Now you ask, "How do I know how they want to be treated? I'm not a mind reader." Ah, we're better mind readers than we realize. To do this we have to actively listen to what people say and be hyperaware of their non-verbal communication (subtext, body language, emotions). And sometimes it couldn't hurt to just ask them what they need.

Re-train your brain and you too can be a better "player"!

From Zumba to Bingo. How Old Am I?

My father used to always say "Age is a state of mind." I loved that about him because didn't act his age. He didn't let age hold him back. The only time I saw him get irritated about age is when people would call him my grandfather. He was much older than my mother (25 years older) and he died at the age of 70 when I was only 22. It was THE hardest experience of my life, but I carry his characteristics with me every day -- those of always moving or doing something. In his words he liked to keep his mind active. Though he retired earlier than he wanted to because of his heart he always created little jobs for himself to keep that mind active. And if it wasn't for his heart I think he'd still be alive today.

Yesterday was a day of ironic activities or maybe I should say of activities that you would expect of more seniored individuals and I'm only 42.

The day ended with bingo. Not your average bingo one would expect, but bingo in a bar setting where people play bingo in teams, similar to a trivia night. Of course drinking is encouraged. What's really great is that bingo is far easier than trivia while drinking. And as crazy as this sounds, playing bingo really keeps one's brain active to have to keep track of all those cards and listen for the numbers and play the correct game of the moment. I never realized the value of bingo for brain activity. It's not that I've never played bingo before. I think maybe I just wasn't as hyperaware then. Improv has made me far more hyperaware of everything in my life.

Just prior to bingo, my friend Eileen came by for a business meeting which turned into a technology melt down of her computer and laptop and the ironic conversation about paper vs computer-based calendars. She has sworn by the Daytimer book calendar forever and announced she is going to ditch the calendar and rely strictly on the computer based calendars for planning. I announced I'm doing just the opposite since my Blackberry won't sync anymore. We laughed as we quickly became aware that we sounded like "old" people who couldn't adjust to technological changes!!!

And finally you should know that my day started with Zumba. Not any Zumba. It was Senior Zumba. My friend and colleague Marilou has been pushing me to go with her and I finally put it on my schedule. Since opening a theater, I hadn't worked out in 13 months and the time has come to get back in the exercise game. I LOVED this Zumba class. For one, I could keep up with this one after a 13 month hiatus. It was like Zumba Light or Zumba for Beginners. I've been in other classes where I thought I was going to have heart failure. This couldn't be more perfect. But what was even more invigorating was seeing all of these seniors in the class. It was inspiring. I want to be them, kind of like I want to be Betty White. However, the most inspiring to me is Marilou. I'm sure she won't like me mentioning her age, but I have to because I think she's amazing and inspirational. She's 66, gorgeous, a retired school teacher, Airforce wife, and busier than most CEOs. I've never met someone more active. She's an improviser, improv teacher and improv director for Carolina Improv Company, she sings with a singing group, she volunteers for her church, she has her own one-woman comedy show, is married and has grand children. Sitting still is NOT in her vocabulary. Then I look at my mother who is one month older than Marilou and see someone who appears 20 years older (thank goodness my mother doesn't read blogs).

I've often heard people say that it keeps one young to hang out with younger people and I agree with that, but yesterday I learned that it keeps one young to hang out with older people who refuse to get old and to hang out with young people who embrace new ideas!